The nagging,
the battles, the lost papers do you
dread school work as much as the kids do?
Here's how to
help them hit the books
Step 1: Ya
gotta have a plan
Sit down with
your kids and lay out expectations now, when the school year is starting,
rather than waiting until problems arise. "Two or three goals is plenty,
and you'll get better results if your child helps decide them," says
Alexandra Mayzler, director of New York City-based Thinking Caps Tutoring and
author of "Tutor in a Book: Better Grades as Easy as 1-2-3."
Ask: What
were your child's stumbling blocks last year? Maybe homework time was running
into bedtime, so agree on an earlier start time. Did your child resist reading?
Work on ways to make it fun -- maybe set up a reading tent under your dining
room table. Review your child's homework goals again in October, and perhaps
once more in January, says Mayzler. Adjust your plan as you go, letting your
child take as much ownership of the process as possible.
Step 2: Get
in the groove
"All the
research says the single best way to improve your child's homework performance
-- and bring more peace to your home is to insist on a daily schedule or
routine," says Ann Dolin, who is also the author of "Homework Made
Simple: Tips, Tools, and Solutions for Stress-Free Homework." In some
homes, that means doing it right after school; for others, it can mean waiting
until after dinner if your child is the type who needs to expend some energy
before he dives back into the books.
Dolin
recommends giving all kids at least 30 minutes to have a snack and unwind, with
one caveat: "That half-hour break really shouldn't involve anything with a
screen television, e-mail, or video games or you may have trouble getting
kids off," she adds.
Giving kids a
half-hour break between after-school activities and homework is a smart idea,
too. "Sports or after-school care isn't really a break. Kids need to let
down a little at home before launching into homework," she says. If your
child goes to a babysitter or aftercare program, make a deal that while he's
there he'll work on one assignment something easy he can do even with
distractions every day before he gets home so he has less work later.
The key is to
be consistent about the routine. Take a few weeks before homework gets heavy to
try different approaches and see what works best, then stick to it.
What about
weekends? Everyone deserves a break on Fridays, of course. But pick a regular
time during the weekend for homework. After some experimenting, D'nece Webster
of Portland, Oregon, found that her son Alex, 7, is at his best on Sunday
mornings. "He can finish in thirty minutes what might take him two hours
on a weekend afternoon," says Webster.
Step 3: Know
when to get your child extra help
If your kid
is truly stuck on a homework assignment, don't make the common mistake of
trying to reteach the information. Your goal is not to become your child's
study buddy. Plus, your approach might be too different from the teacher's.
"Imagine being a kid learning long division for the first time. You don't
understand what your teacher is saying, and your parents teach you another
method. When you get back to school, you're bound to be even more
confused," says mom and former teacher Laura Laing of Baltimore.
Instead, send
an e-mail or note to the teacher asking her to please explain the material to
your child again. If your child is a fourth-grader or older, have him write the
note or talk to the teacher. It's important that he learns how to speak up for
himself. The teacher will likely have office hours earmarked for those who need
help. Also ask her about specific websites (many school textbooks now have
practice sites kids can use in conjunction with the material in the book) or
check out an online tutoring site like growingstars.com or tutor.com, which
also has apps for the iPad, iPhone, and iPod Touch.
Step 4: Pick
the right spot
Some kids do
best with a desk set up in their bedroom so they can work independently; others
want to be smack in the middle of the kitchen while you cook dinner. Mayzler
recommends letting kids choose their preferred study spot. If your child
focuses better lounging on a couch or the floor, "I say let them do
it," she notes. Wherever your child does homework, keep it
distraction-free no TV, video games, or loud siblings playing nearby.
"It's ideal if you can set a quiet family work time, when younger kids
color or do other 'homework-like' tasks and you do paperwork or reading of your
own," Mayzler adds.
Step 5: Try
not to be so freaking helpful!
Of course,
it's okay and actually necessary to sit with 5- or 6-year-olds while they
do homework. However, your goal should be to help less over time and move physically
farther from where your child works. Laura Laing and her partner, Gina
Foringer, make a point of staying out of the room where their daughter, Zoe,
11, does homework. That way, Zoe is encouraged to think through her work on her
own before asking a parent for help. Even when Zoe asks a question, Laing often
responds with more questions instead of answers. "I'll ask 'What do you
think?' or 'How do you think you can come to the answer?'" says Laing. Zoe
often works out her own solution by talking it through with her mom.
When it comes
to proofing a homework assignment, less is definitely better. Check a few
answers to ensure that your child understands what's she's doing, but don't go
over the entire page. After all, your child's teacher needs an accurate measure
of whether she really understands the work.
Step 6: Make
'em pay
Although you
may feel guilty at first, it's smart to have a one-strike rule when it comes to
forgetting homework. If your child leaves her assignment (or lunch, gym
clothes, or other items, for that matter) at home and calls, begging you to
bring it to school, bail her out, say, only once each grading period. For many
kids, just one missed recess (or whatever the teacher's policy is for not
turning in homework) usually improves their memory, says Cathy Vatterott,
Ph.D., associate professor of education at the University of Missouri-St. Louis
and author of "Rethinking Homework." But chronically disorganized
kids may need more hand-holding. "Help your child figure out what part of
his 'return homework' chain is broken," says Vatterott. "Does he
routinely leave homework on the dining room table? Does he forget some
assignments because they're in a different folder?" Create a "Homework
Checklist" on the computer and post it near his usual study space.
Step 7: Push
back on busywork
Vatterott and
other educators are now advocating for changes in the way homework is assigned
and used in the United States (requiring teachers to prove the usefulness of
assignments, discouraging teachers from grading homework, and more). She
encourages parents to do so, too. "Good homework helps kids cement what
they've learned, but it isn't busywork, isn't given in extreme amounts, and
definitely doesn't require parents to become substitute teachers at home,"
Vatterott says. A few caveats:
Mom and Dad
shouldn't do homework. If work comes home with "directions for
parents," Vatterott suggests letting the teacher and possibly the
principal know that you, unfortunately, aren't in class this year (some gentle
humor helps!), so you won't be building a replica of a human cell or a
California mission, or whatever is required. A project can be a fun way for
parents and kids to bond, but if you feel like it's taking up too much of your
time, it probably is.
Watch for
overload. If your third-grader is spending an hour and a half on just her math
homework, for instance, that's way too much. "Keep track of her time for
several days, then talk to the teacher," suggests Dolin. Sometimes
teachers honestly underestimate how long an assignment will take. If your child
routinely works long hours because she's struggling, also talk to the teacher.
But if she seems to be slaving over homework because she's a perfectionist, you
may need to discuss a reasonable amount of time to devote to an assignment and
then clock her.
Culled: Parenting.com
