WHY WOMEN LOSE INTEREST IN SEX

As you read this article, no less than one in three women you know are experiencing a loss of interest in sex. Loss of libido in women or low sexual desire is the most common problem for women. It affects anywhere between 33% to 70% women depending on how sexual desire is defined and reported.

It can happen to men too but because it only affects about half as many men as women, it is not men’s top sex problem. So what exactly does loss of libido mean for women and why does it happen? Experts in the field of sexuality have been consulted for causes and the possible treatment as well.

WHAT IS LOSS OF LIBIDO?

It is the lack of interest in sex for several months of the year” as defined by Edward Laumann lead author of “The Social Organization of Sexuality”. In short women know it when they don’t feel it’

“Low sexual desire is not a disease it is the understandable result of an imbalance in your life … in your relationship, circumstances or your body “as noted by Kathryn Hall PhD in “Reclaiming your sexual self: How you can bring desire back into your life”.

However just because loss of Libido in women is normal and common doesn’t mean you cannot fix it many women feel as if they are letting their partners down, they feel alienated and left out in today’s powerfully sexually –charged world where everybody from the models in lingerie, actors & actresses in movies to the Doctors on television seems to think of little else besides sex. It’s as if ‘you’re the only one who doesn’t get the JOKE!!!

 

Even worst losing interest in sex can drain the passion out of the rest of your life as well.

As noted by Esther Perel , a couple and Family Therapist in New York City and Author of Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic “I  saw this patient for eight years, she had no interest sexually; all she thought about was taking care of her husband n four children  and slowly all the other pleasures of life went too. Food, swimming everything about pleasing herself went one after the other. She was numb”

There are several things women can do to rekindle desire and bring passion and pleasure back into their lives. But the first step is to understand why you might have loss interest in the first place

1.  Biologically consequence

The biology of a woman plays a significant role in loss of libido. For women sex can have serious consequences a baby to take care of for the next twenty years. Not surprising that females are hardwired to approach sex with the sightless abandon than the male folk. It’s a control device pregnancy is a threatening condition for women it renders them vulnerable men on the other hand can actually afford to have sex at any time and moment.

 

2.  Social standards

The social standards of any society /culture can cause loss of libido in women.  We have found that the messages women get from the society is of a Double standard and it affects the libido of a woman. Men are looked at as Studs if they are sexually very active but the women are still called Sluts.

3.  Relationship

The quality of the relationship affects libido. For women desire is elicited in connection in the relationship. If we don’t talk and connect we don’t have sex while for Men, they connect in the sex. As a woman it is not what happens in the bedroom, their desire arises when they interact with their partners like touching, talking when they go shopping together etc.  That starts the sexual interest. Thus if the quality of these intimate but non sexual contacts isn’t being attended to Most women just won’t feel “in the mood”

1.  Hormones

Hormonal fluctuations with pregnancy, breast feeding (resulting in elevated prolactin level) and then the peri-menopause later in life can all reduce libido. Vaginal dryness which can result from declining estrogen levels can make sex painful. Testosterone levels also affect libido in men and women. However in women that hormone often pecks in their early mid-20s and declines from there until menopause, when levels drop dramatically.

 

Other causes of loss of libido would include changing life stages like having a baby, physical stress in the home, losing a job, watching kids leave home without being exhaustive can all trigger stress and dampen libido

TIPS FOR REKINDLING SEXUAL DESIRE

a.    Try selfishness to boast libido: the thing that inhibits desire most is women taking care of the kids, taking care of husband and every other person apart from themselves. Focus positively on yourself even in the presence of others and the desire will flow back.

b.    Small private pleasures: for the woman with four kids feeling asexual and numb to all pleasure, the focus should be on her own private pleasure so Hire a babysitter and go to the movies alone of course, enjoy fragrant leisure bath to remind herself that she deserves to feel pleasure. Start small and build.

c.    Reconnection with partners: for many couples to improve sexually it is important to repair the intimate connection.  Like a simply hug with both partners clothed until relaxed and at peace.  This reconnection maintaining your sense of self when you are emotionally and physically close to others is the foundation of passion in a relationship.

d.    Change of Scenery:

Passion feeds on newness and excitement …..Boredom is the enemy. When things get into a routine it hurts the libido. Get a hotel room even in your own town for a night to spice things up. Or change rooms in the house who said making love always has to happen in the bedroom?

e.    Be Realistic about expectations:

Women can take about three times as long or longer to reach orgasm as men and by some estimate only 26% of women report that they always have orgasms. But even without the Big O, women report still enjoying sex and feeling closer to their partners afterwards. So mentally shift gears from Mommy mode to Sex Goddess Mode. Also give yourself permission to try new things you just surprise yourself.